I Wasn't Supposed To Be Here

Bathed in light and purpose, she stands at the threshold of destiny—called, seen, and chosen for more than the world expected.

I wasn't supposed to be here, but God chose me. God chose you, too. In the beginning, God created, and then He appointed a time. He sent us from eternity, Kairos, into earth’s Kronos time through vessels called parents. Every person entered the earth like Christ, through a mother.

I describe 1 Corinthians 1:28 as an “underdog scripture” because “God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.”

This verse is the anthem of every person who was told, “You’re not supposed to be here.”

In 2017, the Lord opened my eyes to the significance of reaching milestones. I was planning my son’s rite-of-passage ceremony and was tempted to stray from what God told me to do. However, my obedience brought reflection and revelation about my own upbringing. It revealed the multitude of times I felt like “I wasn't supposed to be here.”

I fit everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Outwardly composed, inwardly searching. Surrounded by people, yet longing for my place that matched the purpose God placed inside me. Over time, I learned an invaluable lesson: When you are on the path to destiny, you will not resemble those around you. You are dressed for where you are going, not where you are.

As I recount my story in Rites of Passage, Raising Sons to be Men of Standard, my childhood unfolded in two contrasting environments: one that nurtured growth and achievement, the other merely passed children along without expectation or investment. God was working behind the scenes in both places, positioning people and opportunities for His plans. Two middle school teachers recognized potential in me before I could see it in myself. They were God’s conduits, opening a gateway for me between sixth and seventh grade. It was an academic and spiritual transition that changed the entire trajectory of my life.

The turning point occurred in sixth grade as I sat in a classroom where learning ceased to exist. That teacher was disengaged, and the students were overlooked. It was a system that failed to value the minds and futures of all students. In that moment when I was pondering “there has to be more to life than this,” I heard a gentle voice whisper to me, “What are you doing here?”

Instantly, I knew God was speaking to my heart. I was at a crossroads, like Moses at the burning bush or Saul on the Damascus Road. I heard the Creator of the Universe speaking directly to me. I did not fully understand it, but God chose to intervene in my situation.

El Roi, the God who sees all, saw me in that moment.

He was calling me into my purpose with a single question, “What are you doing here, Sonya?” It wasn’t just a question; it was a mandate. My season of wondering “Who am I? Where do I belong?” was ending. God was preparing me to go because “I wasn't supposed to be here.”

Maybe you feel out of place, wondering why am I here?  Maybe there's loneliness in the holiday season because you are here and loved ones are gone. Maybe you have dreams deferred or visions bigger than the box others placed you in, or the provisions in your bank account.

Purpose finds its deepest expression in the message of Christmas.

Jesus stepped out of eternity into a broken world because of sin. He wrapped Himself in flesh that is fragile and vulnerable. He was misunderstood. He did not fit the mold. He did not arrive the way people expected their Messiah. He was hated because of who He was. Jesus Christ, the holy, divine, and eternal God, entered a world that still rejects Him.

Jesus wasn’t supposed to be here because heaven was His rightful home. He came because humanity needed redemption. He came NOT because He fit in, but because He was anointed. He was not welcomed in many places, but He is needed in every place. Throughout His earthly life, some people celebrated Him while others betrayed Him. Some recognized His deity, and some people despised it. Yet, His destiny remained unchanged. He came on purpose for a purpose.

Before you were born, God sent you from eternity (Kairos time) into the earth (Kronos time) through your mother and father. Your existence is intentional. Your arrival is ordained. When we feel out of place, Christmas reminds us we’re in good company. Jesus did not fit in either.

People do not have to “get it” for you to walk out your calling. This is the encouragement of the Gospel: God is still intentional with our lives. He sends us into time and spaces even if others believe we’re not supposed to be here. I was often the only student of color, the only female leader of color, or the only voice representing a perspective others did not fully understand. There were individuals who made it clear that they believed I did not belong. Yet, the facts remained: I was IN the room because God placed me there. I was seated at the table because God invited me.

When I reflect on the audacity of a young, ordinary brown girl stepping into spaces not designed for her, it still humbles me. Throughout my life, others questioned, “How did she get here?” Their doubt, their shade, their discomfort became background noise in the presence of a higher calling. They did not know the One who sent me. The One who prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Yes, your enemy’s presence is necessary to witness the greatest victory because God uses resistance to reveal His sovereignty.

Despite what people consider success in my life, I am still ordinary. It is God who is extraordinary! My life is marked by divine encounters with moments of provision, intervention, and miracles. Pain refined me; isolation strengthened me; rejection propelled me towards my purpose. God’s love covered me through it all.

If you find yourself in this holiday season, wondering why you are here, mourning those who are gone, or desiring to stretch beyond the limitations others have placed on you, maybe God is calling you into your rightful place. He has a specific assignment for your life. Your presence on this earth is intentional and meaningful.

For many, 2025 brought hardship, loss, and discouragement, but God is still choosing you in this moment! Whatever the situation placed before you: leading in a corporate environment, nurturing your children, battling health issues, returning to school, stepping into full-time ministry, starting the business, or walking through a season of personal restoration, EMBRACE it. You do not have to understand it all. El Roi sees you now, and He cares! When He speaks, listen and obey, then take your rightful place in the room, at the table He prepared for you. Who knows whether you have come to this moment for such a time as this?

God knows exactly where you are, and He will not forsake you.

So, take faith and courage for your journey into 2026. Emmanuel has come, and He came just for you!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year!