My Rite of Passage from the "Queen of Clean"

Clean spaces reflect more than order. They reveal the standards we carry within and the legacy we choose to pass on.

As I prepared to share this weekend on Rites of Passage: Raising Sons to be Men Standard, I reflected on a rite my mother demonstrated and quietly passed down to me.  She is the cleanest person I have ever known! While I have not met everyone on the planet, in my years of growing up with her, I know she is among the best. Her ingenuity in transforming spaces into what appears to be new is incredible. I did not understand my mother’s level of passion for cleaning when I was young.

As a parent-leader, I appreciate clean and orderly spaces too, but I realized my motivation differs from hers. She once told me, “I like the reward in making things look nice and how clean spaces make others feel.” For her, cleanliness is an act of service done out of love.  For me, it is a chore done for my personal satisfaction. What I consider a duty; she embraces as a contribution for others.

I was reflecting on her words as I cleaned the filter in my washing machine. Periodically, I remove it to sanitize it. It never ceases to amaze me how much stuff accumulates in such a short period, despite not using it every day. The tissues, toothpicks, wrappers, and Lego remnants from my son’s “empty pockets” collect in ways that are surprising.

It is not a pleasant task to clean the filter.  I have to twist it out while it is dripping with murky, unfiltered water covered with residue. As I removed the debris and disinfected the filter a question surfaced, “What if there was no filter?”  All this debris would have nowhere to go except deeper into the washing machine.

Can you imagine the debris collected over months and years if it were never purged?

How much more should I examine the condition of my heart and mind, cleaning my filters, and keeping the mess out? Even with filters in place, I must decide what I allow into my life, my family, and my work environment. Without proper filtration, debris accumulates just through daily living.  Over time our unprocessed thoughts, unchecked motives, and subtle compromises impact our judgment and functioning.

Our lives require filtration if our hearts are to remain fertile soil for growth and development. This is especially true for parents and leaders who should establish proper standards to prevent the corrupt culture that tries to attach to us and accumulate debris in our homes, workplaces, and communities.

Here’s the challenge: a clean heart is not a “set it and forget it” endeavor. It requires courage, intentional work, and ongoing examination of our life filters. We must remove debris and clean what gets contaminated.

I have no desire to live in a junkyard, externally or internally.  May each of us examine our own hearts and motives, may we possess the courage to act when our filters require cleaning.

Thanks Mom for demonstrating how important it is to live clean inside and out then passing it on to me.

What we allow to remain will eventually shape us.

What we choose to remove creates space for growth.

Clean living begins within.

Take a moment to reflect:

What in your life needs to be examined, filtered, or cleared away?

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Identity first. Integrity always. Lead intentionally.